KONG: SKULL ISLAND: SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:

Kong: Skull Island! It’s big, it’s hairy and it’s a very interesting beast of a movie, all be it a beast that’s over a 100 feet tall and weighing about 300 tonnes. You see, it’s an interesting beast because it’s got all these really amazing parts such Loki, Captain Marvel and Nick Fury all in the same film, it has a very sweaty and humid Apocalypse Now look and feel, along with a surprisingly larger number of monster smack-downs than you’d usually expect in the film’s lean two hour run-time, however the care factor for both the characters and the beast in question seem to be lost somewhere within this enigmatic island of mystery….

So Kong: Skull Island is set in 1973 where a team of US soldiers fresh from the war with Vietnam are sent in as escorts to an island where scientists hope to uncover an abundance of gigantic pixel-based lifeforms. No sooner do they arrive on the island than they meet with said pixel giants and it becomes a battle for survival to get to the other side of the island without getting killed by, well literally anything - it seems these guys can’t seem to even sit down on a log without it coming to life. 

Now even though it sounds like I’m wailing on the film, it is surprisingly fun, there is no drag time within the film and the giant monster fight sequences are all very cool. You can definitely see ever cent of the $190 million budget up there on the big screen, even if sometimes it just amounts to a bunch of pixels beating the sh*t out of each other in an environment where gravity and physics seem to be an optional extra. 

The film itself opens pretty lightening quick. We get our first glimpses of Kong in the first two minutes and they don't drag their feet with his reveal once the cast reach the island. This isn't a Jaws or 2014's Godzilla with their long drawn out reveals, we just get straight to the point, especially when compared to the 2005 Peter Jackson remake. Of course in between that first and second reveal of Kong, the film works at a coke-fueled screenwriters pace to get through all the necessary character development which often means revealing character plot points and motivations with very forced and clunky expositional dialogue that's not too dissimilar to a Christopher Nolan film, although this is even clunkier than that. 

The film introduces us to the usual archetypes of the army along with the traditional scientist types: we have Shea Whigham's surly but dedicated army type, a slimmed down John Goodman as the shady scientist government agent, Toby Kebbell in thankless soldier role number 1 and then Corey Hawkins, Jason Mitchell, and Thomas Mann as thankless soldier and scientist roles number 3,4,5 and so on and so forth; and then of course we have Tian Jing, recently seen in The Great Wall, as a scientist who has a total of maybe 6 lines but helps to guarantee a Chinese release date. 

But the big stars of the film are Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson who are, just kind of there, they don’t really have much to do nor do we really know anything about them other than he’s a tracker and she’s a photographer, but thankfully we have Samuel L. Jackson and John C. Reilly to pick up the slack. Once again, both these characters have very little development but at least Jackson is given a Captain Ahab style intensity whilst Reilly plays up the Dennis Hopper psychedelic-acid-trauma victim from Apocalypse Now, who provides some good humour and the only bit of heart to the film. 

The visuals in this film are incredibly striking. Cinematographer Larry Fong, who lensed *cough-cough* Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice really lets loose with some snappy fast paced visuals that gives us some real spectacle whether it be a quick bar fight featuring Hiddleston or Kong himself slam-dunking army helicopters left right and centre. The score by Henry Jackman, who gave us soundtracks for films like Kick Ass, Captain America The Winter Soldier and Big Hero 6, sounds fantastic, if not a little familiar, which is kind of the trick to a Henry Jackman score but none the less still sounds awesome. And of course director Jordan Vogt-Roberts gives us some inventive action sequences that have been somewhat inspired by James Cameron’s Aliens and John McTiernan’s Predator, although there are one or two sequences that are just laugh out loud stupid - now I’m sure they looked good as storyboards and sounded good on paper but once they are on the actual screen, you can’t help but think to yourself, “really?” 

Overall, the film is fun and fast-paced with flashy visuals and incredible pixel-related death-matches aplenty, however the film does suffer from the care-factor issue where when a character dies it has no impact and when a character survives you’re neither bothered to see them alive or still in the film. It is worth seeing on the big screen for sure but go for the monkey and not the people.

Kong: Pixel Island - I mean Kong: Skull Island gets Two and a “Meh” out of Five Stars, maybe three stars if I add an extra “Meh” 

LOGAN: SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:

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So this is it, if Hugh Jackman is to be believed, this will be the last time we see the Jacked-Man play Wolverine. Although he has been said on more than one occasion before that he was hanging up the claws. Hell, he’s probably said “one last time” more often than Michael Bay has with Transformers. However, this time it feels like it could be true, because after seeing Hugh Jackman and James Mangold’s Logan, there is no better farewell for a character that has been with us for seventeen years. 

Loosely based on Mark Millar and Steve McNiven’s comic book classic Old Man Logan, we find ourselves in the year 2029 where mutants are now few and far between, Professor X’s once brilliant mind is slowly deteriorating and Logan himself is a broken man, covered in as many scars as he has regrets. Hiding out as a limo driver along the Mexican border and trying to avoid everything that makes him the Wolverine, Logan takes one last job to protect a mother and her young daughter from some savage men and get them both to a safe place. 

Now when actors or directors say they will only return to the role if the script is right you’re often left walking out of Spectre or Jason Bourne going “seriously, that’s the best script you can come up with?” so it’s acceptable to be a little sceptical when Jackman said he would only do one last Wolverine movie if the script is absolutely perfect. Thankfully though, Jackman was true to his word. 

So the film itself excels in comparison to all the previous X-Men films: the stakes are more personal, the tone is as coarse as the grittiest of sandpaper, and the violence in this film makes you realise just how comical last year’s Deadpool really was. Make no mistake about it, this is a violent movie, do not be bringing your kids to see this because you think those X-Men movies are so family-friendly and adventurous. Getting back to the film as a whole, this is the Wolverine that Hugh Jackman has promised from the very beginning, we get the berserker Wolverine, we get a Wolverine who walks away from a fight looking like he just lost a three-way machete-match between Jason Voorhees  and Freddy Krueger. But throughout all those beatings, the most important thing this film delivers on is a character study of not only James Howlett, but Professor Charles Xavier. 

Between the burst of well orchestrated violence and action set pieces that often defy the traditional conventions and then turn those conventions on their head to be used in new and inventive ways, we explore the mindset of both Jackman’s Logan and Stewart’s Xavier. Knowing that this may be the last time we see these character together again, James Mangold isn’t afraid to have some long stretches where character moments just get the chance to breathe. In this J.J. Abrams ADD-riddled approach to storytelling nowadays where there needs to be an action sequence every ten minutes in case the audience gets sleepy, Logan takes the more 70’s approach to filmmaking and lets us really get to know the characters so that when the action hits, and hits hard, it really is like three Adamantium claws to the guts when we see these beloved characters fighting, bleeding and screaming, for their lives. Some may find the pacing in this 137 minute road movie a bit of a slog, but the pay offs and character arcs are worth taking the “Ritalin” for.      

Even though the trailers have all been stellar, along with the amazing black and white photography James Mangold has been releasing constantly throughout production, there are still some concerns that people may have had. The great thing is, none of these concerns are even remotely an issue. Those comic book fans who don’t feel it can live up to the Old Man Logan story for obvious licensing reason need not worry, Logan is just a brutal and affecting as the original story and stands on its own above all previous X-Men films. Those who thought introducing a kid into the mix was going to be a recipe for box office poison, fear not, Laura, or as she is also known X-23, is a bad-ass and a real scene stealer at times, but make no doubt, it is not at the expense of Hugh Jackman or Patrick Stewart who both bring their A-game to this film. 

So a lot of other reviewers seem to be drawing comparisons to The Dark Knight with regards to quality and quite frankly, I think that’s lazy and pretty inaccurate: Logan is its’ own beast and more in line with some of Clint Eastwood’s classics such as Unforgiven and Gran Torino. Jackman, much like Eastwood is putting his well-known persona to rest in this film. It has sprinkles of Unforgiven with the Western look and feel all throughout whilst the themes of coming to terms with age and attitudes that were so heavily laboured in Gran Torino can be found within Jackman’s very nuanced performance. On top of this there are countless other influences throughout the film such as Children Of Men with the “no more mutants” theme, there’s a Mad Max aesthetic to the wastelands they travel through, there’s elements of The Terminator along with classic cowboy movies like Shane and Mickey Rourke’s redemption tale in The Wrestler. 

Is the film perfect? Near enough. The only complaints I would have would be the most fickle of complaints. Moments where I felt that another character from Wolverine’s past may have served as a better physical antagonist, however the physical threat that Logan goes up against, really is surprising. The villains are not really fleshed out, however that doesn’t mean that they aren’t interesting, and much like in the Marvel Studio films, the villains are never as important as the heroes journey, and I’m ok with that.  

Overall, this is nothing short of a fantastic stand-alone X-Men movie that doesn’t labor the previous films mythology or continuity which makes for one of the more refreshing comic book films we have seen in a long while, mostly because it’s not trying to be a comic book movie, but rather just be a great film. With seventeen years of investment in these characters, Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart have definitely earned their dues, whilst for the first time in a comic book movie, we have a film that hits you like three Adamantium claws in the heart, and you will find yourself crying on more than one occasion. And if that’s not indicative of how this film sets a new standard for comic book movies, then I don’t know what is.  

Logan gets Four and a Half out of Five Stars (or Four and a Half out of Five Adamantium claws right through your very soul)