I really really wanted to like this film. The trailers didn’t fill me with much faith, but I honestly wanted to like this film. Unfortunately though, “Bitter Orphans With Daddy Issues Battle: Dawn Of The Computer Generated Kitchen Sink” is an absolute mess of a film.
It’s really hard to explain the plot of this movie because this is not a movie, this is several movies all vacuum-sealed into one overly long two and a half hour runtime. The first half of the movie feels like four or five different movies with their own looks and styles that don’t even feel like they fit together. There’s the Batman story which is dark and gritty and receives the most screen time, then there’s Lois Lane investigating something that honestly leads no where, then there’s Jar Jar Luthor acting all creepy and weird on a f*cking pantomime level that just begs the question of why anyone would ever even trust with a pack of gum let alone military secrets. Then there’s the mysterious Diana Prince who just shows up from time to time, no explanation, no backstory, she’s just there. Then of course, there’s this guy called Superman who seems like a complete after thought and has to use his superhuman abilities just to fight for what little screen time he is given. Just to add to all the narrative confusion, we have these dream sequences that are often jarring and non-sensical to say the least. We even have a dream sequence within a dream sequence with little to no context for whenever any of them show up.
The main cast do what they can, but besides Affleck, do not really have much to do. Henry Cavill plays a sometimes mopey, sometimes sad, sometimes angry, never content version of Superman, and his alter-ego Clark Kent is nearly non-existent in this film. For a guy sharing top-billing in this movie, you sometimes forget that Superman is even in this film. Gal Gadot has some brief moments and could easily have been written out of the film entirely if there hadn’t been such an emphasis in cramming as many Justice League members as possible into this film. Then there’s Amy Adam’s Lois Lane, who solely exists in this film to do stupid things so that Superman can save her - when are they going to finally write a good Lois Lane character? Ben Affleck’s Batman (and Bruce Wayne) are good, not great, but good. I wouldn’t compare his performance to Christian Bale’s Dark Knight because it really is an apples and oranges comparison, but for all those fan-boys claiming that this was going to be the definitive comic-book Batman, they’re going to have to wait. It’s a good Batman, but not a comic book Batman; he’s no more of a detective than Bale’s Batman was and this representation is more akin to the Arkham Knight video games series than the comic books, though he does have one incredible fight sequence in the film. Then there’s Lex Luthor, another camp version of a beloved villain that should be so simple to get right, yet seems so hard to do if these films are anything to go by. He’s such a transparently evil character that it’s amazing that he isn’t continually breaking the fourth wall so that he can wink at the audience.
With so much going on in this convoluted mess of a movie you still have a whole series of supporting characters that are under-utilised and ultimately forgettable. You have Holly Hunter’s Senator Finch who’s one-woman crusade to make Superman accountable for his actions is never resolved or acknowledged once she has left the screen. There is also Tao Okamoto in a thankless role that is almost exclusively silent and pointless. We have Australia’s Callan Mulvey as generic villain number 2, you have Scoot McNairy as who gives a f*ck. We have Diane Lane and Laurence Fishburne back as Superman’s mum and Clark Kent’s boss respectively; Diane Lane is there for the sole purpose of giving out the worst advice the mother of a superhero can possibly deliver and Laurence Fishburne seems to be playing a completely different version of Perry White from when he played him in Man Of Steel. Then there is Jeremy Irons, probably the best thing in this movie. He’s completely underused however his brief back and forth between himself and Affleck’s Bruce Wayne are a real highlight of the film and something that makes me even more eager for the solo Batman movie.
There are some good elements to the film: the visuals are often beautiful, Batfleck is a dependable Batman with some real potential, the fight sequences are well orchestrated and highly stylised, but one of the most important things missing is context. Quite often there is no explanation for what people are doing, or how they got there, or why they are doing what they are doing. The film just expects you to buy in to a lot of material with very little to connect a lot of it together.
You know, I don’t know who this movie is for? It’s not for kids because it’s far too dark and brutal. It’s not for general audiences because they have too many alienating references to very specific mythology from the comics without feeling the need to explain any of it. And I really don’t think it’s even for Batman or Superman fans, let alone the hardcore DC fans because Zack Snyder just plays loose with the characters to the point where he’s almost showing complete and utter contempt for the audience and the characters. Seriously, the guy claims to love comic books, but I think he may be confusing the word love the same way an abusive husband confuses the term love. He presents Superman in a way that is so distant and disengaged from humanity that it’s a wonder that he bothers saving anyone at all. I don’t think that Snyder doesn’t understand Superman, I think he just downright despises him.
Zack Snyder is great at adapting comic book movies, just look at the painstaking recreations that went into Watchmen and 300, but here that has proven to be his downfall because instead of doing a straight adaptation of a single story, he has cherry picked moments from two of DC Comics biggest storylines. The first is obviously The Dark Knight Returns and the second I will not mention because this would truly spoil a large element of the film, however if you’ve seen the trailers, you can probably guess. The big issue with cherry picking elements from beloved stories means that you can never have the same impact as the original story because you are lacking the context and other essential elements that make those classic stories complete. For example, the recreations of keys scenes and dialogue from the infamous fight from the end of The Dark Knight Returns loses all impact because we don’t have the 40 year relationship that Batman and Superman that gives reason to such a brutal fight. This film delivers a very flimsy pretext for the two coming to blows, I mean sure we want to see them fight, but not when the fight could have been resolved through a 30 second conversation.
Snyder should be applauded for his visual flair and pushing for some great costumes lifted straight from the comics, but he has once again proven himself to be an all style/no substance kind of guy. On top of the very jumpy and jarring narrative, Snyder also feels the need to, well not explain anything. Look, I agree that we should never just spoon-feed an audience but there are huge plot holes the size of the hole that was left in Metropolis from the first film. Plus, if you’re one of those people who were hoping Snyder would have taken on board some of the criticism thrown at Man of Steel, then you’re sure to be disappointed. The opening sequence tries to contextualise the destruction of Metropolis from Bruce Wayne’s perspective, but this seems completely unnecessary. Personally, I can buy in to Batman not trusting Superman based on the events of the previous film, he didn’t need to be in Metropolis on the day to come to this conclusion. Plus for those of you unhappy with Superman’s penchant for killing, then Superman’s first scene in the movie is like a big middle finger from Snyder to those critics. You’ll know the scene when you see it, the only thing missing was Zack Snyder popping up on screen and saying “Sorry folks, I didn’t learn a thing.”
Overall, I really did want to like this movie, but there are so many poor narrative choices that all the pretty visuals cannot save. Disliking this movie does not make me a DC hater, but as a fan of comics in general, DC, Marvel or otherwise; all I can say is that I am disappointed. With plot holes everywhere, storylines that are dropped and forgotten about and a director who seems to be trolling us when he says he understands the characters and is staying true to canon; I just hope that something can be salvaged from the DC Cinematic Universe. In a year when DC released Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman on the big screen, it just may be the Suicide Squad that redeems the DC brand.
Batman V Superman: Dawn of the Kitchen Sink… I mean Dawn of Justice gets Two out of Five angry, mopey, bitter battling orphans.
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