Sunday, 14 June 2015

JURASSIC WORLD: SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:


Over twenty years since Steven Spielberg wowed audiences with the first Jurassic Park, where the world thought, for just a brief second, that Sam Neil was going o be the world’s biggest star, we get treated to a fourth installment. A film that is desperate to rid our memories of the lackluster Lost World (a.k.a. The T-Rex Takes Manhattan) and abysmal third film (which admittedly I’ve only ever half-watched). Does it succeed? Well.... yes and no.

Yes in the sense that it is better than Jurassic Park III and most of The Lost World, but no because the film is so reliant on reminding people of the previous films with constant callbacks and references to the first film.

Set twenty-two years after the first film we see the world’s worst parents send their two young children off to visit their Auntie who runs Jurassic World, a place that’s just one Black Fish documentary away from being shut down. The Aunt is played by Bryce Dallas Howard, who seems to be trapped in some other movie where she’s a busy business chick who’s too busy doing business things to find love or look after family; throw in Chris Pratt for a good measure of contrived and forced romantic tension (and to fulfill his Indiana Jones quota on his way to becoming the next Harrison Ford) and you’ve got your leads. The kids are played by some forgettable teenager and the young one is played by Ty Simpkins, the annoying brainy kid from Iron Man 3 who is now playing the annoying brainy kid in Jurassic Park IV.

When a new dinosaur is let loose on the park, it is up to Pratt and Howard along with a whole bunch of red shirts to save the 20,000 plus dino-treats I mean *cough-cough* paying customers. The film is filled with the standard film-tropes of the modern-era which are handled better than most blockbusters, but only providing you don’t think too hard. The film really starts to fall apart once you start thinking about things like: Why with all this technology can people not detect something has happened until a secondary character asks a question that sets up the next scene? Why would you think that a damaged fence leading to a place filled with dangerous dinosaurs is a perfectly acceptable place to enter? Why would you not put in a safety device into your vehicles preventing people from having free-roam of the park? Why would you put two kids in the back of a van when you clearly have enough room in the front of the vehicle? How the hell can she run in those heels? And so on and so forth.

There are some funny moments, mostly coming from that guy from Let’s Be Cops but the rest is very derivative because the characters are all one dimensional archetypes including the ‘I’m bad because I’m a greedy business guy’, ‘I’m bad because I’m an army general guy’ and the ‘I’m good because I’m the charming, rugged good-looking one.’ Jurassic World has some big action set pieces that are creative in a fun popcorn-moments kind of way, but mostly feel hollow due to the reliance of CGI that just seems to be devoid of any weight or gravity. The final climax just looks like a pixels vs pixels battle meanwhile the movie itself pretty much summarises its whole purpose for existing in one of the opening scenes, with a very meta-speech about convincing people to buy tickets to a park by rehashing the same old ideas but with a bigger, more expensive, non-sensical twist on the original.

The film aims for the brilliance of Spielberg’s original but unfortunately, the best they could achieve was Spielberg’s cheaper Mexican counterpart Señor Spielbergo.

Jurassic World gets Two out of Five Stars (one for each time my Chris Pratt man-crush fluttered during the film)

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